This is the picture I want to Photoshop but I can’t.
But editing the picture wouldn't make it go away. Erasing the evidence doesn't make it any less real.
All it does is send the message that who I am now is wrong. It tells me, loud and clear, “You want to own this space? No problem. First, you gotta change. You gotta be different than who and what you already are. "
Here are the facts, Jack, as I see them to be. The truth I believe, deep down into my core.
I am entitled to my space. I am legitimate. I do not have to be any different in order to be worthy.
As for me? I’m here every day finding ways to become a better version of myself. I worry less about others (I can’t change them, after all) and more about myself. The energy I release into the world. The lives I want to touch. I feel it’s my responsibility to bare little pieces of my Journey of Self Confidence with others so that they, too, can find ways to be better versions of themselves. I’m not perfect…. Far from it. But I’ve got a good baseline to build on. Do I want to be healthier? Absolutely. A better version of ME includes a heart that beats strongly and knees that bend easily. And I will get there. No doubt.
But for now, I am here. This is me. This is my body. This is where I stand. So I focus on the things that empower and support me.
Industries thrive on showing us how we are wrong. They sell us stuff to make us Better People all the time.
I get it. I would like to be a lot of things. I’d like to be 5’8” with long legs. I’d like my hair to be thick and naturally beachy. I’d like my smile to be even. I’d like a lot of things. Like nail polish that never chips. I’d like world peace. Or a bra that feels refreshing and delightful at hour nine.
These days, we hold the power to play God in our hands. Technology to make us thinner, softer or taller sits right in our hands. We now (literally) assume that (literally) every picture we see of someone on social media is (literally) edited in some way. Because changing ourselves has become the norm.
And so, as much as I want to edit this picture, I just can’t. That would be lying to you. And, more importantly, it would be lying to me. And I am worth more than a lie.
I am legitimate. Just as I am. I may not like every single little piece of my body-- I may want to make some changes-- but I do love ME.
I love my tenacious spirit. The loud laugh that sometimes triggers a snort. And, despite what some believe are imperfections, and what I believe are the things I want to change, I love my body. It is the only one I have. So today, and every day, I will choose to love it. And love myself. Honestly.