One night, last December I sat around my dining room table with two dear friends, Kelsey and Alex. I had covered the table with magazines, glitter paper, scissors and a canvas artboard for each of us. Our task for the evening was to make Vision Boards for the next year. If you followed me on Instagram at the time, you probably saw this. I also wrote about it on a post here!
I don’t do goals. At least not ones with numbers and stats attached to them. When we wrap our happiness around the achievement of specifics, we’re setting ourselves up to fail. What happens if we fall short of our goal, does that mean we’re unsuccessful as humans? Or, if the Universe has a plan for us that’s different than our goal, do we decided we’ve fallen short if we don’t attain the exact specifics we set out to? And what would happen if we met our goal and still DIDN’T feel fulfilled then? What next?
This is why I chase feelings. I come from the Danielle LaPorte school of theory here – instead of quantifiable goals, I decide how I want to feel in my life. I decide what “state of being” I want to experience. Then I show up. I show up hard and fast and passionate in the ways that I believe will allow me to experience this feeling… and I keep an open mind. This way, if a creative alternative comes along, I don’t shut myself off from something great. This way, I don’t block the Universe from bringing magic to me — I show up, I do my part, and I take my hands off the wheel just enough to allow for something beautiful to happen.
Instead of quantifiable goals, I decide how I want to feel in my life. I decide what “state of being” I want to experience. Then I show up. I show up hard and fast and passionate in the ways that I believe will allow me to experience this feeling… and I keep an open mind. This way, if a creative alternative comes along, I don’t shut myself off from something great.
I knew how I wanted to feel in 2017. I wanted to explore feeling sensuous in my skin, valuable in my personal relationships and at-home in my life. So Sensuous, Valuable, and At-Home all became words that made it onto my board. I knew I wanted to feel guided by the Universe in understanding my purpose, balanced in how I handled challenges, and grateful in my appreciation for the gifts I experience, even in the face of adversity. So, Guided, Balanced, and Grateful all went on the board as well
And then there was the idea of how I wanted to feel in my body. My body. Which plays such a HUGE role in my life. My body that has allowed me a home and time to go on this wild and wonderful journey of wellness and growth.
I knew I wanted to feel unencumbered and physically strong enough to do the things I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to feel ALIVE and with enough energy to be present in my life and experience. And I knew I wanted to feel like a fiery and fierce, spunky badass ninja. And so… Limitless, Energized, and Powerful made it onto my board as well.
Here I am with my board.
Fast forward, months later, and here we are. Here I am, standing on a Malibu beach with my toes scrunched in the sand. I am wearing a Lane Bryant plus size bathing suit that is bronzed and strappy; wearing it, I feel like an Amazonian Mermaid Goddess. I realize they don’t exist, but in my head they do.
I felt like a force. An undeniably feminine force. Simmering. Responsive. In charge of my body. In touch with every movement. Every muscle. Smoldering. I felt… powerful.
At that moment, I realized what feeling “powerful” really meant to me. It means owning oneself with a deeply quiet promise of self-awareness. Nothing to prove. No banner to wave saying “look at me, see me, I’m worthy!” It means being the keeper of your energy, not looking to others to define you. It means being aligned to your body. In touch with its needs, its demands; and then it means having the strength to act on those demands and needs. As if it’s natural. And a given. As if you could do anything else besides honor who YOU are becoming?
What does feeling powerful mean to YOU?
Do you look to “stuff” to help you find your footing? Or is it a feeling you search for deep in your soul?
The next time you think about having the most stuff, getting the most attention, or being the most “popular”, I encourage you to think about just that. How in touch are you with your needs and demands? Do you allow others negativity to fluster you and dim your sparkle? Are you a motherf*cking beam of shining light, an unstoppable Ray of Awesome that pierces through clouds?
A powerful woman knows her truth.
A powerful woman knows her worth.
A powerful woman does not look to others to define her. She knows. She knows from the inside out.
She knows her body and her heart. And what she does not know, she is willing to learn with grace.
I have spent the last year of my life learning myself down deep to my core. The things I learned weren’t always pretty. Sometimes they painful. Sometimes they were glorious. But each thing I learned was beautiful. Because each thing was helping me get closer and closer to the most authentic version of Sarah that I can be.
Because a powerful woman knows herself. She is willing to get “front and center” in the concert of her life. She is ready to see with honesty, react with compassion, and then bust down the damn door of her own happiness! She makes her mark in the way that works for her. She is not concerned with the path of others; she walks alone if she has to. But wherever she goes she brings her joy and passion right alongside with her.
In 100 percent disclosure, I was a little intimidated by this Lane Bryant plus size bathing suit before I put it on. But once I did? Holy. Cow. It literally made me feel like a warrior. If you’re looking to find this suit for yourself, find it online here!
Shimmer Strappy High-Neck Swim Tank with Built-In No-Wire Bra – I am wearing a size 22
Shimmer Mid-Waist Swim Brief with Strappy Sides – I am wearing a size 22
Sincere thanks to Lane Bryant for partnering with me to help tell this beach story of confidence! While this post was sponsored, the ideas expressed are 100% my own emotions and experiences.
Thanks to Rachel Richardson for the stunning photographs.