This is the story of how a Cacique bikini gave me the chance to break a 25-year long streak.
The last time I wore a low-rise bikini, I was thirteen years old at βfat camp.β It wasnβt even mine; I borrowed it from a counselor and wore it just long enough to lay on a towel by the tennis court during rest period for 45 minutes that single summer day. Β Someone snapped a photo of it. I remember seeing it once, but thatβs it…
Itβs taken me 25 years to feel that free in my body again.
Hereβs something you may not know about me; itβs been a wild year. See, Iβve ALWAYS loved myself. But, how Iβve defined that love has changed dramatically of recent. I have always passionately believed in the right we all have to feel easy in our skin. At any size, at any weight, at any stage of life. But feeling βacceptanceβ in our skin isnβt the same thing as feeling free in our body. And, as I know now, it isnβt the same as feeling bold. Empowered. Ready. Excited. Energized. Lively.
Those are words I never granted myself. These are feelings I never lived beforeβ¦
Iβve made a heck of a lot of changes in my life this year. The biggest has been learning to live unapologetic in my truth.
Learning to be unapologetic about the things that inspire, how I live my life and how I feel about my body.
We get one turn around this dance floor, folks. There comes a time in your life when you realize itβs time to play the music you like, and dance like nobody’s watching. Or like everyone is watching. Except if anyone is heckling, you donβt care what others say because youβre too busy moving and shaking and living and laughing to be noticed.
Want to know something? Sit down for this, because this overweight, 38-year old woman is about to drop a truth bomb on you. Ready? That hiding? That anxiety you feel about who you are and what you look like? That fear you have that people are looking and going to laugh at you for dreaming big, being bold, or coloring outside the lines? Itβs bananas.
When you βplay smallβ in your life, nobody wins. Least of all you. Have you ever heard that expression? In the world of personal growth (a place I am dipping my toes in as a plus size wellness blogger) it’s a Marianne Williamson expression that explains how many of us shrug off our true desire, our true nature, to maintain security, control, and comfort. How we ignore what we really want so as not to rock our own boat, or the boats in the water near us.
βOur deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,β Williamson explains. βOur deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?… Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.β
In coaching groups, I teach others that the more we βshow upβ in our life, the more we are able to βshow upβ for others. And, that the more we show up for others, we are truly βshowing upβ for ourselves.
In coaching groups, I teach others that the more we βshow upβ in our life, the more we are able to βshow upβ for others. And, that the more we show up for others, we are truly βshowing upβ for ourselves.
Let me explain. The more fulfilled Sarah is, the more I live WHO I AM, and the more joy I feel in my life, the better friend I am. The better colleague I am. The more loving a daughter. The more present I will be for the man that I love.
Anyone here a mom? What do we think makes a more positive impression on a child; a mother who feels confident in who she is, and shows her (or him) that they are worthy and capable? Β Or one who never fully accepts themselves, and is always apologizing or denying her own joy?
Imagine your capability to love as a partner, a spouse, a friend⦠and now imagine how that capability expands into a massive BOMB OF LOVE when you are peace with who you are, following the guidance of your personal True North. How much more can you give? How much more can the people you love feel loved and supported and seen?
It all starts with feeling free in your own life. In your body. In your passion. Free in knowing who you are.
It took me years to figure it out; I underrated myself for a long time. I didnβt do it intentionally, but it happened just the same. Now? I show up fierce. I show up free. I show up with joy from the inside out.
Wearing this Cacique plus size bikini took me far out of my comfort zone. But thatβs the thing about feeling free. Once you really start to live that — once you feel it — your comfort canβt be contained into any single zone. Itβs in the air. Itβs in the way you breathe. There is less fear and more room to dance in the truth of who, and what, we are.
Want to add this bathing suit look into your life? Try these plus size bathing suits from Lane Bryant!
Knit Bikini Top with Built In Bandeau (a stunning suit I also bought and loved! Similar color family and low-rise style)
Knit String Bikini Bottom (the bottom to the suit linked right above– stunning and very low-rise!)
Strappy Deep-V Paisley Swimsuit (stunning one-piece version of the print I’m wearing!)
Paisley High Neck Swim Tank (same print as pictured)
Swim Tank with Built in Bra (same print as pictured)
Bikini bottom (only size 18 left)
Paisley Skirted Swim BottomΒ
Sincere thanks to Lane Bryant for partnering with me to help tell this beach story of confidence! While this post was sponsored, the ideas expressed are 100% my own emotions and experiences.Β
Big thanks to my dear friend Keith Webb who is always up for breaking through comfort zones, showing up, and offering friendship and support with grace and laughter. You can find him on Instagram here.
26 comments
Omg, what an eye opener this article is for me. You described how I am feeling to a T. And I never realized that is what I was doing. Thank you so much for opening my eyes. π
You are an incredibly beautiful young woman who will inspire thousands! Bless you! Much happiness!
After reading your blog post I have come to the realization that I’m not as confident as I thought. How do you let go? How do you say “this is the body God gave me and I need to love it?” You are such a strong beautiful woman who makes wearing a bikini seem so effortless. When I think of wearing anything revealing or tight I chicken out for fear of ridicule. Your words mean a lot to me, please share.
Sarah… thank you, thank you, thank you for this article. This opened my eyes, my thoughts, my heart & my soul to so many things. I have struggled for so long with exactly what you are talking about. The mom thing really hit at home with me.
What I will do is not underrated myself. “I show up fierce. I show up free. I show up with joy from the inside out.” π
I pray for confidence to, And to love myself as you do! Your gorgeous And a blessing to everyone for boost off happiness and confidence, to share with us!!πππππ
[…] I wore a low-rise bikini I was 13Β years old at βfat camp,ββ Sapora wrote in the sponsored post titled, Show up. Play Big. Wear the Bikini; Lessons from a Plus Size Wellness Blogger About Being Free in […]
Thank you, so much for making me feel good about my self.
So beautiful one day I wish I could be this free
[…] her blog, Sarah Plus Life, Sapora recalled the last time she wore a string bikini, […]
[…] her blog, Sarah Plus Life, Sapora recalled the last time she wore a string bikini, […]
Thank you and bless your heart. I read this today after receiving an anonymous letter in the mail. All it said was “My GOSH, you are FAAAT!”
What kind of sick person gets pleasure out of such a cruel (and cowardly) action. One has to wonder at their mental health status. What difference is it to that person, or anyone, that I’m a 64-yr old size 16 and not a 6. Here’s hoping they get a karma wake-up call. My consolation is that they have to live with their nasty, sick self.
What an absolute terrible thing to do. I don’t understand why people can be so hateful. This is the sort of thing that keeps me in my shell. I wish I could feel as confident as Sarah, but I’ve never known how to make it happen.
Just wanted to let you know that I have been looking at that bikini for about a month and didnt have the courage to buy it. Inspired by you, I went to purchase it at Lane Bryant and its already sold out- the top is gone and the bottom is left in just a couple of sizes- way to go – inspire a revolution
Love love this, hurray for you !, I am a 55 and older woman, so, no way, for me to wear a bikini, but yes you look gorgeous,
and so confident of you to share it with the world. The media today drives us crazy, making choices for us on how we should look like. They stereotype the beautiful woman to be a size 2 and soon. Happy ! that finally someone had the confidence to show the world that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
It is what it is, either you have it or you don’t…Love it!
Thank you for your encouragement! I am a 42yo mother of 5 all under age 7. I am very overweight but I have never said in front of my kids that I am fat. We don’t even talk about skinny or fat in our house just being healthy. I don’t want my kids to grow up feeling the way I did as a child and being told I was fat.
You are an inspiration and you look fabulous!
Thank you so much for being BOLD and BEAUTIFUL! I am truly inspired you. It is amazing how your actions match your words. I haven’t worn a swim suit in many years. I have always been a fashion forward person. However, I won’t say that I step out of my comfort zone. In fact if I had to be truthful, I would say that my outfits are nice but my opinion about myself is not very nice. In other words my outside and my inside do not match. You have inspired me to not be so hard on myself and to spend less energy on doubting Me and more on LOVING the me I am and not they size I wish I was. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
That smile on her face says it all, especially with her man in the picture. I love it. That spot that probably was not her comfort zone is now her comfort zone. You sometimes don’t know what to expect in situations like that, coming out into the open with a two piece bikini, but when you stop caring what others think, amazing things can and do often happen. And like your man, I think you’re sweet and beautiful. Keep that smile on your face, it’s infectious.
You are wise, well spoken, cool, funny, you seem to really have deep self-compassion and we could all learn from you…oh and you hang out with Keith Webb. You’re killin’ it from my perspective. The world needs more of your brand of positivity, truth & emotional intelligence. Keep on spreading your message. I love it!
YOU LOOK GREAT !!!!! I think more plus-size women need to be brave and come out from their shells and wear a bikini !!!! its a freeing experience !!!!!! We all need to love our bodies no matter what size and don’t let anyone shame us into believing we cant do or be anything we want . Curvy is beautiful !!!!!! We need to see more curvy women feeling this good about ourselves !!!!!
WAY TO GO GIRL !!!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO BRAVE AND KNOW U HAVE INSPIRED OTHER PLUS-SIZE WOMEN TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES AND MAYBE EVEN COME OUT OF THEIR SHELLS BECAUSE OF YOUR BRAVERY .
you are beautiful, it’s about time plus size girl go on and live
So inspiring beautiful lady π
Everything about you is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your wonderful pictures. Wishing you nothing but love and happiness in this world.
Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Thank you, However I am experiencing difficulties with your RSS. I don’t know why I can’t subscribe to it. Is there anybody else getting the same RSS issues? Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanks!!
I think you look good wearing that bikini and with that guy!
Love from Sweden, i wish there were more People like you in the world! π
Go girl, you are beaitiful and you rock ! πͺ
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